JetBlack
02-07-2009, 09:31 PM
I like being scared.
When I saw that movie "The Ring", it scared my girlfriend and I half to death. Scariest movie ever. I knew I would have nighmares and I couldn't wait. You know you got your money's worth out of a scary movie if your subconscious is angry at you, five hours later and kicks you when you are down.
I was not disappointed.
If people in the '70's thought "The Shining" was scary, pffff, "The Ring" would have made people die.
One night, long after that movie, "The Ring 2", "The Grudge" and others, Lisa came over to "surprise" me. She claims that she did not mean to do it. I sleep pretty hard and she knows this. So I am doing my best spectacular impression of roadkill and am comprehensively asleep, on my stomach.
Lisa alleges that she did not tiptoe silently, on padded feet, to the side of my bed. She also claims that she was not opening her eyes wider than normal or smiling in a maniacal, openmouthed way, at all, when she leaned down to "kiss" me. I woke up to the quiet sound of an axe murderer's jacket rustling and a bug-eyed face descending, out of the darkness, toward mine.
Here's how the next few seconds went:
1. Pandemonium.
2. Almost simultaneous, with 1. I am screaming like a little, non-potty trained girl. I abbreviated the word "SHIT!" into something less than decimals are capable of measuring. I certainly threw out all the vowels.
3. Although I am lying on my stomach, I am still capable, it seems, of doing at least one aborted sit-up. Albeit in the wrong direction. My butt shot into the air with enough speed that I was able to right my capsized form, by turning in mid air. I did this by simply rotating everything in my skin to the other side. I pulled an abdominal muscle hard enough I was sore and slightly bruised for a couple of days.
4. I reached out and grabbed for Lisa, while beginning to realize it was her.
5. Lisa shot into the air at somewhat less than a 90 degree angle so she launched into the closet.
6. Lisa and I are treading air together and shouting at one another. We fail to achieve harmony and give up.
After we calmed down but before I could do anything dextrous with my shaking hands and before Lisa stopped laughing at me, my stomach was gurgling so bad. Like it had woken up to realize that it's hopefully, one chance to make me literally shit myself, was past. It was mad to have missed the opportunity and was in it's room, slamming doors and needing a time out.
This video cracks me, very much, up. The second one is just kids getting what they really deserve. I got Lisa really good with something like the scary maze thing and she wouldn't return my calls for a week.
YouTube - Funniest scare pranks!
YouTube - Prank: Texas Chainsaw Cheerleader Massacre
When I saw that movie "The Ring", it scared my girlfriend and I half to death. Scariest movie ever. I knew I would have nighmares and I couldn't wait. You know you got your money's worth out of a scary movie if your subconscious is angry at you, five hours later and kicks you when you are down.
I was not disappointed.
If people in the '70's thought "The Shining" was scary, pffff, "The Ring" would have made people die.
One night, long after that movie, "The Ring 2", "The Grudge" and others, Lisa came over to "surprise" me. She claims that she did not mean to do it. I sleep pretty hard and she knows this. So I am doing my best spectacular impression of roadkill and am comprehensively asleep, on my stomach.
Lisa alleges that she did not tiptoe silently, on padded feet, to the side of my bed. She also claims that she was not opening her eyes wider than normal or smiling in a maniacal, openmouthed way, at all, when she leaned down to "kiss" me. I woke up to the quiet sound of an axe murderer's jacket rustling and a bug-eyed face descending, out of the darkness, toward mine.
Here's how the next few seconds went:
1. Pandemonium.
2. Almost simultaneous, with 1. I am screaming like a little, non-potty trained girl. I abbreviated the word "SHIT!" into something less than decimals are capable of measuring. I certainly threw out all the vowels.
3. Although I am lying on my stomach, I am still capable, it seems, of doing at least one aborted sit-up. Albeit in the wrong direction. My butt shot into the air with enough speed that I was able to right my capsized form, by turning in mid air. I did this by simply rotating everything in my skin to the other side. I pulled an abdominal muscle hard enough I was sore and slightly bruised for a couple of days.
4. I reached out and grabbed for Lisa, while beginning to realize it was her.
5. Lisa shot into the air at somewhat less than a 90 degree angle so she launched into the closet.
6. Lisa and I are treading air together and shouting at one another. We fail to achieve harmony and give up.
After we calmed down but before I could do anything dextrous with my shaking hands and before Lisa stopped laughing at me, my stomach was gurgling so bad. Like it had woken up to realize that it's hopefully, one chance to make me literally shit myself, was past. It was mad to have missed the opportunity and was in it's room, slamming doors and needing a time out.
This video cracks me, very much, up. The second one is just kids getting what they really deserve. I got Lisa really good with something like the scary maze thing and she wouldn't return my calls for a week.
YouTube - Funniest scare pranks!
YouTube - Prank: Texas Chainsaw Cheerleader Massacre